What pressures are we facing today in 2024? While researching this topic, two areas in particular came up. Firstly, the image of a woman today: the pressure to look a certain way, how this impacts our body image, and where this pressure stems from. Secondly, pressures to meet certain milestones, such as having children, buying a property and having a successful career. Both of these aspects contribute to how we see ourselves, which influences how we feel about ourselves.
The ‘Ideal Body’
Through the years there has been an ‘ideal’ body type for women to strive to achieve, though often unattainable. In recent years, there has been a heavy focus on flat stomachs, a cinched waist and large breasts. Back in the 1960’s, the trend was to look slender, to emulate the look of slim fashion models. In the 16th and 17th centuries, plump legs, stomachs and arms were the goal to fit into the beauty standard. These trends can be damaging, and one in particular that comes to mind is the thigh gap. I remember this being desirable when I was in my teens, and can recall images of looking at myself in the mirror, finding an angle to stand in where I had a visible gap in between my thighs. Around that time, I wouldn’t have been on social media, but I would’ve been influenced by TV, films and the fashion magazines I read religiously.
I have found there to be two sides of the internet: one side tells us to love the skin we’re in, whilst the other shows us the newest diet fads, such as the best way to exercise to get a flat stomach. This made it clear to me who benefits from this sense of unease in how we see ourselves. The influencers who are paid to advertise certain products, whilst claiming we can look just like them when using a type of eye cream, those who create magazine covers in which the images are photoshopped to show flawless images of women without cellulite or pores. This social conditioning we receive in childhood from our family, friends and the media is harmful. Capitalism benefits massively from this; we feel inadequate so spend on our money on products, we tell others about the benefits of these products, and the cycle goes on. Thinking this way may help us to analyse where our beliefs around the perfect body come from.
The way we see our bodies can largely impact our mental health – feeling unsatisfied with the way we look, alongside a body image which is not attainable for all bodies, can lead to unhappiness and a low self-esteem. This can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and to develop eating disorders.
Milestones
There are many pressures in life to meet various milestones, such as the decision to start a family, find a partner and buy property. I have noticed these pressures increase the older I get and depending on those around me hitting these milestones. Similar to our body image, these milestone pressures stem from external factors including, social media, friends, the media, films, TV and family. In particular, starting a family for women comes with time constraints; we constantly hear about the biological clock, how our time to be able to have children can be limited. With the messaging in society often being focused on having children, it can make the decision even more difficult. External messages from the world can make it harder to focus our own wants and needs. When those around you seem to be on a different life path to you, you can be left with feelings of loneliness and isolation. It is incredibly easy to look at those around us, who have achieved milestones which we feel we haven’t yet, and to see them as having the perfect life.
So, what does perfection look like for each of us? I think we each have our own idea of what perfection looks like for ourselves – ultimately, it is subjective. It is helpful to be more in the present when trying to calm external worries.
Tips for Staying in the Present:
- I find it useful to have regular breaks from scrolling on social media. On some mobile phones you can limit your screen time via your settings.
- TikTok may provide entertaining videos, but those are mixed with videos related to losing weight. Whether that is by buying and taking a vitamin you never knew existed or buying a piece of work out gear which promises to give you a flat stomach in 6 weeks. It’s important to be conscious of what we’re consuming, how it’s affecting our self-image, and then decide whether it serves our best interests to remain a user.
- It may be helpful to challenge our relationship with our bodies, aiming for body positivity can appear to be an unrealistic goal, body neutrality may seem more achievable with less pressure.
- It can seem unattainable to aim to feel completely good about ourselves all the time, so feeling good enough is a more realistic goal.
Ultimately the goal posts are always moving in terms of what society expects from us. Whether it’s the way our bodies look, starting a family, or achieving career goals. Striving to meet someone else’s idea of perfection will likely lead to inner criticism and can feel isolating. It is important to recognise that each person’s idea of perfection is different. Spending time staying present can help this pressure subside, particularly taking some time away from social media. To be happy in ourselves seems like a more achievable goal.
